Beloved Outcast Page 3

  “Molly?” Julie said tentatively. “I’ve decided. I’m going to get the ribbon after all.”

  “That’s nice,” Molly said, not really caring and unable to tear her gaze from Ben’s face. She was vaguely aware of her sister paying for her ribbon, and then Julie was tugging at her sleeve.

  “We’d better go,” the girl was saying, and Molly nodded absently. She allowed Julie to lead her past Ben to the door.

  Ben nodded and tipped his hat as she went by. “It was good to see you again, Molly,” he said.

  “Yes,” she whispered sadly.

  When the girls had gone, Ben walked over to the door and watched until they disappeared around a corner. Lord, but she was a cute little thing, he thought with a grim smile, slender but round in all the right places. And those eyes! They almost looked too big for her face, and they revealed every thought going on inside her pretty little head. She had liked him, too.

  That shouldn’t have surprised him.. He had already discovered he could get most girls to like him if he put his mind to it. For some reason he had never quite understood, girls seemed to think he was attractive, and that went for the nice girls as well as the chippies. Of course, the rule only held true in other towns. In this town, nice girls had never dared to notice him, at least not openly. He had never minded until today.

  “She’s a pretty girl, isn’t she?” Mrs. Wells commented.

  “Who? Oh, you mean Molly.” He pretended to think it over. “Yeah, I guess she is sort of pretty. She’s changed a lot from when we were in school together. I hardly recognized her.”

  “So I noticed,” Mrs. Wells said with a knowing grin.

  ***

  “Oh, Molly, he’s awful handsome, isn’t he?” Julie whispered when they were far enough away from the store for it to be safe.

  “I didn’t notice,” Molly lied.

  “You did so,” Julie insisted smugly. “I think if he had asked me, I would have walked out with him, even if Pa did give me a licking. It would be worth it.”

  “But he might’ve taken it out on Ma instead,” Molly reminded her, and Julie sobered instantly.

  “Well, anyways, you got to talk to him.”

  “Yes, and now everything’s ruined.”

  “Ruined? What do you mean?”

  “I mean I used to dream about him because of the way he stood up to Pa that time, remember?”

  Julie nodded.

  “He wasn’t real, though, just a dream. But now...”

  “Now he’s even better than a dream,” Julie said. “He’d take care of us, I know he would. Did you see how big and strong he is? And remember how he fought Harry Hoskins when we were little?”

  “Yes, I do. He likes to fight, Julie, like Pa does—”

  “Ben wouldn’t hit a woman. I know he wouldn’t,” Julie insisted.

  “You don’t know anything about him,” Molly reminded her sternly, “and we aren’t likely to ever find out, anyway. We’ll probably never get another chance to even talk to him again.”

  Julie’s acceptance came reluctantly. “I wish—”

  “Wishing won’t change anything, so you’d better quit thinking about him,” Molly said, but the warning was really for herself. Julie was right, the real Ben was better than Molly’s dreams, bigger and stronger and more handsome. He had spoken to her and touched her and made her feel like a grown-up woman. Would she ever be able to forget about him now?

  ***

  “Where the hell have you been?” Johnny inquired when Ben finally joined him in the saloon. Johnny was standing at the far end of the crowded bar, and Ben had to make his way past several men whose greetings he acknowledged with a stiff nod.

  “I told you, I had some errands,” Ben replied, motioning to the bartender for a beer. He wasn’t telling the entire truth. Like a fool, he’d gone roaming around town for a while after he’d finished up his business, hoping to catch another glimpse of Molly Wade. He hadn’t, though, and now he wanted a beer. Several beers.

  “You look sort of peaked,” Johnny observed. “Did something happen?”

  Ben waited until the bartender set the beer down in front of him and walked away. “Yeah,” he replied. “I met a girl.”

  “It’s about time. What’s her name?” he asked, taking a sip of his own drink.

  “Molly Wade.”

  Beer sprayed everywhere as Johnny choked. The bartender hustled over, cursing, to wipe up the counter, so it was a few minutes before they were alone again. When Johnny had recovered, he turned to Ben in dismay. ‘Tell me I heard you wrong. Tell me she isn’t any kin to Elijah Wade. Please tell me that, Ben.”

  Ben couldn’t help but grin. He had known what Johnny’s reaction would be. If anything, Johnny would be more worried about the situation than Ben. Ever since he had met Johnny on his very first trail drive, the man had made it his bounden duty to look after Ben. It wasn’t because he was that much older, just a few years. It wasn’t that he was that much more responsible, either. In fact, if the truth were told, Johnny was really the one who needed looking after.

  But Ben didn’t mind Johnny’s concern. Johnny was his friend. For some reason, the two of them had hit it off right away, and Johnny had attached himself to Ben like a blood tick on a fat hound, quitting the job he had held for three years with Big Jim Harris down in Uvalde and coming back to Hoskinsville with Ben. Ben never had understood why. Johnny could have been foreman of some big ranch if he’d wanted to, but he stayed on with Ben. Most times it was just the two of them, now that Nathan had passed on. In the spring, they’d hire on a few extra hands to help with the branding and such, but the rest of the time they ran Ben’s place together, and Johnny seemed more than satisfied. Ben had a feeling that if he ever wanted to get rid of Johnny, he’d have to shoot the poor fellow. In fact, Johnny had even said so, more than once.

  “She’s Elijah Wade’s daughter,” Ben informed him.

  Johnny winced like a dog passing peach seeds and swore eloquently. “If they put your brains in a jaybird, he’d fly backwards, Ben Cantrell. There’s a million girls in this world. Why’d you have to pick the only one you sure as hell can’t have?”

  A very good question, Ben admitted silently, and shrugged.

  “Be careful what you say,” Johnny warned, lowering his voice. “The old fart’s right over there.” Sure enough, Elijah Wade sat at a corner table with two of his cronies. He was acting like he was having a good time, but even still he looked cross and tight-lipped, like his bowels had been locked for a couple of days. You couldn’t tell anything from his expression, though, because he always looked sour. Observing that Molly must not take after her father at all, Ben turned back to Johnny. “Where’s Annie?” he asked to change the subject.

  Johnny grinned. “I left her upstairs. She’s resting up for next time.”

  Ben laughed, shaking his head in wonder. “As much as you like poontang, you ought to find yourself a nice girl and settle down. You could have it every night.”

  Johnny’s brown eyes widened in horror. “That just shows how much you know about nice girls. Besides,” he added with a good-natured grin, “who’d have an ugly plug like me?”

  Another good question, Ben decided. Johnny wasn’t exactly a prize. His hair was all right, dark black and curly, but his face looked like something God had put together in the dark, the eyes too small, the nose too big, mouth too broad. Still, a girl in Dodge City had once told Ben that Johnny was so ugly he was cute, and it had been apparent to Ben down through the years that she wasn’t the only one who thought so.

  Ben diplomatically changed the subject from Johnny’s looks, and they whiled away the rest of the afternoon in the saloon. Ben waited patiently while Johnny went upstairs and paid Annie another visit, then they strolled over to the hotel for supper. Afterward they claimed two chairs in the shade of the hotel porch so they could sit and watch the town heat up for Saturday night before they went back to the saloon.

  Johnny dug around in his teeth with a b
room straw for a while before going back to the topic he’d been putting off discussing with Ben all afternoon. “That Wade girl,” he began without preamble. “You’d better stay away from her.”

  When Ben didn’t answer, Johnny felt free to continue. “If the old man ever catches you making eyes at her, he’ll have you stuffed and mounted. You can take it as gospel.”

  “I’m not afraid of Elijah Wade.”

  “Then you oughta be,” Johnny warned. “It ain’t what he can do to you in a fight that you gotta be worried about, anyways. It’s the way he can turn folks against you.”

  Ben frowned. Johnny was right, of course. As long as he stayed in his place, the people of Hoskinsville tolerated his presence. But he’d better not try to go courting their daughters.

  “Besides,” Johnny went on, “you don’t want to get mixed up with any nice girls. That’s why I left Big Jim Harris, you know. Did I ever tell you he had five daughters?”

  In point of fact, Johnny had given Ben this astonishing piece of information at least a hundred times, but Ben was not one to quibble.

  “Five daughters,” Johnny reiterated, “and each one uglier than the last. The oldest one had her eye on me, too. Yes, sir, that filly was dragging her rope for sure, and I knew if I didn’t get away soon, I was gonna step right in it. Nice girls or not, they’ve got their little ways of making a man do what he’s got no intention of doing, and that’s God’s truth.”

  Ben didn’t comment, but he knew Johnny was right, at least about the Harris girls. In fact, Big Jim had even invited Ben to come down to Uvalde for a visit, bragging that he had five pretty daughters who’d like to meet him.

  “It’s plain as a wart on a billygoat’s nose,” Johnny was saying, but broke off when he heard Ben swear softly. “What is it?” he asked in alarm. Ben looked like somebody’d just dropped a hammer on his toe.

  “It’s her,” Ben whispered, not even moving his lips. “In the wagon.”

  Sure enough, the Wade family was riding by on their way out of town. Like the other families who had come in for the day, they were leaving before the cowboys could commence celebrating their day off.

  ***

  Molly sat on a seat in the wagon bed, facing the rear. From there she could scan the town without being observed by her father, who was driving. Julie sat beside her and, by unspoken agreement, was helping her look.

  Julie’s elbow dug into her ribs, but Molly didn’t need the nudge. She had seen him already, sitting on the hotel porch with the same man he’d been with earlier. Her mouth trembled at the corners, wanting desperately to smile at him. She wanted even more desperately to wave but didn’t dare to do either. Instead she sat perfectly still, clutching her hands together in her lap and watching him for all she was worth.

  Heaven only knew how long it would be until she got to see him again. Her father rarely brought them to town, and even when he did there was no guarantee she’d see Ben. Her heart ached, and she blinked back the sting of tears. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t a bit fair. Pa would say it was God’s will, but Molly didn’t believe God could be so cruel. She had loved Ben for so long. It just didn’t seem possible nothing could ever come of it.

  ***

  Ben didn’t move, didn’t even bat an eye, until the wagon had disappeared from sight. “Isn’t she the prettiest girl you ever saw?”

  “As pretty as a red heifer in a flower bed,” Johnny agreed grudgingly. “And if you had the sense God gave a ripe gourd, you’d forget you ever saw her.”

  The Wades were halfway home and Molly was still lost in her own misery when the trouble started. Her father turned to her mother on the wagon seat. “Where were you all day?”

  “I went to visit Ethel Davis,” Hannah said.

  “That fat cow. I’ll bet she didn’t have nothing good to say about me, did she?”

  “She asked how you were is all.”

  “I reckon you talked all afternoon about ‘how I am,’ ” Elijah snarled.

  Julie reached for Molly’s hand. They could both smell the sickening-sweet odor of whiskey on him. The two girls sat as still as stones while the wagon clattered along the rutted road. Julie closed her eyes, praying for a miracle Molly knew would not come. Molly had stopped asking for it years ago.

  “We talked about folks in town, mostly,” Hannah was saying, her voice falsely cheerful as she tried to lighten her husband’s mood. “Miriam Hoskins stopped by. You should have seen the dress she was wearing. I’ll bet it cost a hundred dollars.”

  “Old Hoskins can afford to dress his whore up real fine. The old bastard lives like a king off our sweat and blood, stealing from us every chance he gets. You probably think I should buy you fancy dresses, too.”

  “I don’t need fancy dresses.”

  “Damn right you don’t, a hag like you. You’re so ugly you’re lucky you ever got a man to marry you. You know that, don’t you?” he taunted. “You’re lucky to have me to take care of you and feed you and keep a roof over your head.”

  “Yes, Elijah, I’m very lucky,” Hannah said meekly.

  Molly cringed at her mother’s humiliation. Mama wasn’t ugly at all. If she weren’t so thin and had some nice clothes...

  “Damn right you’re lucky, and don’t you forget it. What did the Hoskins whore want with the likes of you?”

  “She came by to see Ethel. She invited us to a quilting bee the church ladies are having.”

  “How’d she expect you’d come to a quilting bee? I guess she thinks I haven’t got nothin’ better to do than cart you around the countryside so you can kick up your heels. And what about your family? Who’s going to take care of your children? Who’s going to—”

  “Pa, don’t!” Molly cried, grabbing his arm.

  “Shut up, you little bitch. Stay out of this.” His shove sent her sprawling among the sacks of flour and coffee stacked neatly in the wagon bed.

  Julie was crying silently, the tears making wet tracks down her cheeks, and helped Molly back up onto the seat. Molly put her arm around her sister, and they clung to each other as the tirade continued.

  “You probably think I believe those lies about a quilting bee,” Elijah was saying. “I know why you really want to get out of the house.”

  “I never asked to go,” Hannah said patiently.

  “Not yet, you didn’t, but I know what’s in your mind. You’ve got a man somewhere, don’t you? You’re wanting to go off and wallow with him, and you think you can trick me into taking you into town so you can do it. You filthy, lying whore!”

  Smack! The blow almost knocked Hannah from the wagon seat.

  “Mama!” the girls cried, catching her as best they could while she fought for balance. Blood spurted from her nose, and the girls watched helplessly as she tried to stanch it.

  “Stay away from her, you hear?” he bellowed at Molly when she tried to place a comforting hand on her mother’s shoulder.

  Julie pulled Molly back down to the low seat in the wagon bed. The younger girl was sobbing quietly now, and she held Molly fiercely. Above them their father’s voice droned on with accusations and degrading profanity. In one breath he accused Hannah of having a dozen lovers; in the next he told her she was too ugly for a man to look at.

  Hannah huddled on the seat defensively, braced for the intermittent blows that punctuated his harangue.

  “Pa! Someone’ll see you!” Molly cried when he grabbed a fistful of Hannah’s hair and started shaking her.

  “Then they’ll know what a worthless bitch I married, won’t they?” he said, but he let her go.

  The ride home seemed endless, and Molly wasn’t looking forward to their arrival. In the privacy of his own house, Elijah Wade could do whatever he wanted to his lawfully wedded wife. When the wagon finally stopped, he sent the women inside to prepare his supper. Julie ran on ahead to find some rags with which to clean her mother up while Molly helped her into the house.

  “You girls go on up to bed now,” Hannah said the instant they were
in the house.

  “But Ma—”

  “Here, take these biscuits.” Hannah handed Molly a tin containing the leftovers from the morning meal. “I’ll bring you something later when he’s asleep. Go on now before he sees you still here.”

  Knowing their presence only made things worse, the girls hastily climbed the ladder to their bedroom loft. There they huddled together long into the night and tried to ignore their father’s curses and their mother’s cries and the thud of flesh against flesh.

  “Why doesn’t she leave him?” Julie whispered brokenly as she sobbed against Molly’s shoulder. “Why doesn’t she take us away?”

  “She can’t. You know she can’t.”

  “We could take care of her,” Julie insisted. “We’re older now. We could work.”

  “Doing what? Dancing in a saloon?”

  “We could clean somebody’s house or cook...”

  “Oh, Julie.” Molly sighed in despair. How many times had she made the very same arguments to her mother? “Even if we could find work, he’d come after us, and he’d kill her. He said so. You’ve heard him say it a hundred times.”

  Julie’s thin body shuddered on a new sob. “Maybe we could get away...”

  “How, Julie? How?”

  They jumped at the sound of shattering glass. “Elijah,” Hannah wailed. “That was my mother’s mirror.”

  “Now you won’t have to see how ugly you are, you stinking whore.”

  Julie’s voice strangled on a new sob. “Can’t we get away? Can’t we go somewhere?”

  Molly tightened her embrace. “Yes, we can, you and me,” she vowed rashly. “I’ll get you out of here somehow, Julie. I promise.”

  ***

  “I feel like a jackass in the wrong stall,” Johnny complained as they walked into the schoolhouse. A community dance was under way, an event everyone in the area would attend. Such dances were held several times a year, but Ben and Johnny preferred riding a hundred miles to attend such functions in places where they were unknown and appreciated simply as eligible young men.